The Search


“It has been three years since I retired, Lulu.” I spoke to Lulu, my parrot.

“Oh, how time flies. Really, three years!” Lulu murmured.

“I was thinking about those three years. Taking stock…..kind of.” I said.

“Your old corporate ways have not died down – why are you reviewing how the time was spent. There are no targets for you. Your performance is not measured and reviewed. Ha ha!” Lulu pointed out.

“That is one good thing about retirement. One does not have to attend performance reviews which I hated from the bottom of my heart,” I said nodding my head in agreement. “But there is one problem to which I have been trying to find an answer.”

“What’s that? It must be something that you have kept to yourself for long time.” Lulu said.

“Yes, indeed! I have been asking myself – Is there is any purpose in living now. Children are well settled. I have saved enough to pay for our medical bills and routine expenses. My wife would not be a burden to anybody if I am gone tomorrow.” I continued, “There is nothing to aspire for, nothing to look forward to. Absolutely aimless life! I have been searching for an answer. I have asked many friends too. What do you think?”

“Oh that is how you are feeling! Hmmm….I am reminded of Rabia’s story which I heard from Osho once. Rabia was searching something on the road in front of her house in the evening. Her neighbours came to help her. ‘What are you searching?’ they asked her.” Lulu said looking for my response.

“Ok, then……” I asked.

“She said ‘your question is irrelevant! If it matters to you, why don’t you help?’ They said ‘you must have gone mad, Rabia. You must tell us what you are searching for, otherwise how can we help you?’”

“Obviously, then…..”

“She said ‘Ok, let me tell you that I have lost my needle.’ The neighbours realised that the road was very wide and big and it was futile to search there. So they asked ‘Where did you lose the needle, Rabia? This road is so broad and big.’ She told them that they were asking another irrelevant question. She asked them, ‘Tell me how it is concerned with my search.’”

“Interesting, then what happened?”

“People said ‘if you don’t tell us then we can go on searching forever and yet not find what you have lost.’ They thought that she had lost her mind. She said, ‘Ok, just to satisfy you, let me tell you that I lost it inside the house.’ So the neighbours shouted, ‘then why are you searching here, Rabia?’”

“Tell me what she said. I am sure that there is a twist in the tale.” I said anxiously.

“Well you decide that. She said, ‘Because here there is light and there is no light inside.’”

“That’s a googly!” I said. “What does it mean?”

“It means that you have an inner need to search. You are searching out of habit. There is no inner consciousness, no inner light, so you are searching outside. If you really want to know what you are searching for, you should meditate. And you will discover that there is no need to search.”

“This is too much for me. It will take one year to understand what you are saying, Lulu.” I said.

“Ha, ha! But that would be time well spent, my dear! In the meantime, just relax and enjoy life!!” Lulu said as he flew away.

Vivek