“It has been three years since I retired, Lulu.” I spoke to
Lulu, my parrot.
“Oh, how time flies. Really, three years!” Lulu murmured.
“I was thinking about those three years. Taking stock…..kind
of.” I said.
“Your old corporate ways have not died down – why are you
reviewing how the time was spent. There are no targets for you. Your
performance is not measured and reviewed. Ha ha!” Lulu pointed out.
“That is one good thing about retirement. One does not
have to attend performance reviews which I hated from the bottom of my heart,”
I said nodding my head in agreement. “But there is one problem to which I have
been trying to find an answer.”
“What’s that? It must be something that you have kept to
yourself for long time.” Lulu said.
“Yes, indeed! I have been asking myself – Is there is any
purpose in living now. Children are well settled. I have saved enough to pay
for our medical bills and routine expenses. My wife would not be a burden to
anybody if I am gone tomorrow.” I continued, “There is nothing to aspire for,
nothing to look forward to. Absolutely aimless life! I have been searching for
an answer. I have asked many friends too. What do you think?”
“Oh that is how you are feeling! Hmmm….I am reminded of
Rabia’s story which I heard from Osho once. Rabia was searching something on
the road in front of her house in the evening. Her neighbours came to help her.
‘What are you searching?’ they asked her.” Lulu said looking for my response.
“Ok, then……” I asked.
“She said ‘your question is irrelevant! If it matters to
you, why don’t you help?’ They said ‘you must have gone mad, Rabia. You must
tell us what you are searching for, otherwise how can we help you?’”
“Obviously, then…..”
“She said ‘Ok, let me tell you that I have lost my
needle.’ The neighbours realised that the road was very wide and big and it was
futile to search there. So they asked ‘Where did you lose the needle, Rabia? This
road is so broad and big.’ She told them that they were asking another
irrelevant question. She asked them, ‘Tell me how it is concerned with my
search.’”
“Interesting, then what happened?”
“People said ‘if you don’t tell us then we can go on
searching forever and yet not find what you have lost.’ They thought that she
had lost her mind. She said, ‘Ok, just to satisfy you, let me tell you that I
lost it inside the house.’ So the neighbours shouted, ‘then why are you
searching here, Rabia?’”
“Tell me what she said. I am sure that there is a twist
in the tale.” I said anxiously.
“Well you decide that. She said, ‘Because here there is
light and there is no light inside.’”
“That’s a googly!” I said. “What does it mean?”
“It means that you have an inner need to search. You are
searching out of habit. There is no inner consciousness, no inner light, so you
are searching outside. If you really want to know what you are searching for,
you should meditate. And you will discover that there is no need to search.”
“This is too much for me. It will take one year to
understand what you are saying, Lulu.” I said.
“Ha, ha! But that would be time well spent, my dear! In
the meantime, just relax and enjoy life!!” Lulu said as he flew away.
Vivek